Appt yesterday...

I was supposed to go last week to see Dr. Lane, but they called and had to reschedule me. 

Dr. Lane said that everything looks pretty good.  She went over my Echo with me.  She said that the repair looks so good, that you can't tell it's patched, unless you knew beforehand.  My mitral valve is leaking though-still or again-I'm not sure.  Dr. Lane said that it's not uncommon for that to happen, especially since mine was repaired using my own valve.  Dr. Hunter had to sew the leaflets together.  Other options would have been mechanical or bovine, neither of which seemed appealing.  Either way, we always knew that there could be possibilities of MV repair not working, or not lasting.  Mechanical valves sometimes have to be replaced, and those that have mechanical valves have to be on Coumadin or other blood thinners for life.  With bovine, I think there's always the chance of having to replace them too, bc they wear out.  

Something else Dr. Lane touched on was whether or not we were having more children.  Last time, she said that if we decided to, I should be in good shape to go through pregnancy, especially since I've done it twice before.  But...yesterday, she said it's a good idea if we don't try to have more children.  It's sad, knowing that it's so life-threatening if I want to get pregnant again.  It was extremely life-threatening when I was pregnant with Rianna and Gage, but not knowing about my heart thing, I didn't have that to worry about.  Thankfully, I have my 2 babies and we don't want any more.  

Yesterday's appointment was supposed to be my release appt.  I was supposed to be released for a year if everything went well.  Instead, I have to go back in 8 months, and after that, we will schedule another Echo.  She did say that my heart is decreasing in size (no wise cracks!), so that is good.

I think that is about everything we discussed.  I'm definitely feeling sadder than I was before my appt.  I hope I don't get into a depression.  I'm already upset over all this, not just from what I learned yesterday, but from becoming a heart patient, period.  I know my life was basically saved and extended, but I feel that I am susceptible to everything that can happen with a person's heart.  Every little thing now gets to me.  I wonder if this condition of the heart, or this disease, is going to "get me".  The feelings are so hard to turn off in my head.  David always tells me I'm ok.  I just can't convince myself that I'll be ok.  

Well, I don't think I have any more updates, or complaints, so I'll update next time I do...or the next time I need to let out my feelings.

A little more neglect...

I don't have much to post, but I needed to stop in and say "hello"…

My blood test results were fine, according to Dr. Lane's nurse.  I actually go back to see her on Nov 7th.  I had my 1 yr echo on Oct 7th.  I'm not sure of the results of that yet, bc the technician isn't allowed to tell you anything, and Dr. Lane hasn't called me.  I'm guessing 'no news is good news'; at least, that's what I'm hoping.  She was out of the office all last week, so the nurse said she hasn't reviewed the echo.  Pins and needles!!!

I'm feeling ok; still tired all the time.  I do stay on the go a lot, but in my downtime, I'm still tired.  I have my days…days where I feel awful, don't want to get out of bed, etc.  But I have a lot of good days.  Although just a few minutes ago, I had the most painful hiccups.  They hurt my chest sooooooo bad.  On the left side…I felt like someone kept punching me right there…weird…they lasted forever!

My Mawmaw (the one I used to live with, and is now in the nursing home-stupid Alzheimer's!) was in the hospital last week.  She had pneumonia.  Obviously, since I haven't had my flu shot yet, I didn't go visit her.  But I am always thinking about her.  I love that woman so much, and I miss all the old, good times we had.

Speaking of…go get your flu shots people!!!  The kids are going for theirs today at 230, and I'm going sometime this weekend.  I'm going to Walgreen's for mine, and so is David.  At Walgreen's, if you get a shot, they give a shot…to someone in an underdeveloped country.  I like it.  I like everything, even little things, that can make a big difference.

Anyway, I have to go.  As soon as I hear anything, I'll post about it.  It probably won't be until after my appointment though.


Oh, one more thing:


HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my niece HALEY!!!!  I love you!!!!!!

CMN update...

I don't have an update on my heart (which is fantastic news!), so I thought I'd do a CMN update…

We are entering the home stretch.  Our fall campaign lasts for only 2 weeks, and I'm proud to say that we surpassed our goal.  Our customers and employees who've continuously donated are super awesome!  And it's for such a good cause.  I'm actually looking into an event our company does (and I think it's year-round) to start working on.  I'll let y'all know as soon as it happens.

I hate the feeling that I'm neglecting this blog, but I really don't have any news.  Um…ok, well, I need to have my other 2 wisdom teeth taken out…so do not wanna, but they're starting to bother me.  I wish Dr. Chain Smoker would have taken them all at once.  I'm not going back to him for these, and if my insurance says I have to, they can kiss it.  I can't stand that I was inhaling his smoke breath while he was digging around in my mouth.  That was worse than the million-needle-sticks in the mouth.  Blech!

Oh, another reason I'm dreading the dentist is bc of having to take meds beforehand.  As a heart patient, it's important…and a headache…you have to plan everything.


Anyway, talk later...

CMN meeting today...

I know that has nothing to do with my heart, but I like to share what's going on...we are entering our fall campaign for the Children's Miracle Network.  It starts Sept 4th.  I get excited for CMN, it's one of the main charities I love to campaign for.  Our store was #1 in our district.  So I'm hoping we can do it again.  This time, I want to have a dress down weekend, put our umbrellas back up for the Pennies from Heaven, and see what else I can come up with.  Any suggestions??  , haha...

I will keep this blog updated on the campaign, wish us luck!

My heart is doing ok, so that's great right?!  I haven't heard back from Dr. Lane about the blood work, so I'm guessing that's a good sign.

My appt...

It went pretty well.  Dr. Lane said that my heart sounds great!  I have to go have some labs done (which I'll probably do Thurs), bc my last set of labs concluded that my thyroid levels were low.  So we will retest and see if they've come up.  If not, guess what…more medication.  It could be the cause of my fatigue.  Who knows?

I asked about whether or not I should continue with the baby aspirin, and she said it's not 100% necessary, but it won't hurt.  I asked about the vision loss thing, and she said it's not true.  So I was misinformed.  She said that it's a good idea to take them bc it will prevent blood clots.  Dr. Lane said that she and her colleagues always talk about my case bc of how rare and interesting it is.  Rare bc of my age, I suppose.  Ha-also, she asked if we are through having kids, and I said yes.  She said that she thought we were, but wanted to let me know (just in case) that if we wanted to have more, I'm very healthy and would be ok.  I would be high risk (I was with both babies anyway), but that if my heart can handle having 2 babies pre-heart surgery, then I would be ok if there was ever a next time.  I guess it's good to know, bc I am often asked if we're having any more babies.

I have to go in October to have an echo done, just for precautions.  I'll have it then bc my last one was a year ago Oct…makes sense.  After the echo, I'll see her to discuss the results, and if all goes well, I will only have to see her once a year.  YAY!

Oh, also, remember when I had the life vest on?  Of course y'all do…I complained about it often!  Anyway, the insurance company had approved it, sent me a letter stating so, and then months later, sent another letter denying the claim.  So I appealed it, esp since I had the approval letter.  They denied my appeal.  Dr. Lane's nurse printed out all of my records for the 2 weeks I was in the hospital, and during that process, they decided to pay for it.  Anyway, today, she gave me the records.  A LOT!

AND…I have copies of all my EKGs that I had from day 1 through the end of my hospital stay.  I think I may scan them and post them…just not now.  It's amazing, though…I was looking through them all, and the difference is crazy!  Seriously, it's like I was going through multiple patients' records and comparing them.  Just like when my fave nurse Ana let me listen to my heart before surgery-the differences bw my unhealthy heart and healthy heart auscultations were unreal.

My blood pressure today was 111/66.  Dr. Lane said that she is very pleased with my blood pressure; that she has been this whole time.  At least I have that on my side :)

Well, any more news and I'll update!

Right now, I'm basically doing a happy dance in my head.  It kinda looks like this:

Bing images

Yep…that's me…haha!

Doctor's appt today...

I'm not sure what to expect, since I haven't seen her in a while, but I do have questions in my mind to ask her.  Such as:

1. Do I have to take baby aspirin for the rest of my life?  We talked about this before, and she had said 'yes', but I need to know what the pros and cons are.  One thing I know, is that taking aspirin, including baby aspirin, for extended periods of time, can cause vision loss.  No-freaking-thank you.  Sigh............

2. What are these weird, sometimes painful, sometimes just pressure-y feelings, I get in my left shoulder, chest, etc?  I know signs of a heart attack, I know that the list isn't etched in stone, but I'm tired of worrying if it's for no reason.  And of course, if there is a reason, I need to know.  

3. How far can I push myself?  I want to workout extremely hard (er).  I want to be super healthy, but I don't want to die doing it.  And if I'm in a class, I definitely don't want to die in front of strangers.  Yes, I know that's weird to say, but it's definitely crossed my mind a time or two...or ten...

4. Heavy lifting?  What's safe?  I'm pretty weak anyway, so it's not like I'm going to bench press like a linebacker, but when I'm working, I try not to lift heavy items.  It kinda goes back to the not wanting to die in public feelings.  Plus, I need to give some of my coworkers reassurance, bc they won't let me do anything strenuous.

 

So, it's not too much, but it's a start.  I wish I could pull up some more questions, bc I always think of them after the appt is over.  That will suck...what also sucks?  The dang $65 copay...I'm so gonna milk this appt.  Ha!

I will update after my appt.  It's at 8am, so I'd better get to sleep.  Later.

"When fear knocks, let faith open the door"

Tonight, on the ESPYs, Robin Roberts said this.  Everyone probably knows who she is, so I won't explain.  She is so brave and awesome.  I wish I had the ability to inspire others the ways she does.  I think that she's absolutely right in what she said, but I wonder if she's ever had any moments of doubt?  Doubt about her body's ability to work when manipulated to do so...setbacks, or possible setbacks...days where she just thought it would be easier to just throw in the towel???  I'm sure she has...I think we all do.

The reason I'm doing so much wondering (instead of sleeping since it IS 334am), is because I have such moments where I feel like any day is going to be that day...what makes me ponder this?  Well, pains, flutterings, discomforts, too much time on my hands (I don't know!!)... I never worried about this stuff before.  But when I experience these feelings, I worry for a while afterwards that this is it.  I HATE thinking this way...hate it.  I don't think we should walk around worrying constantly if this is our moment to die.  That's no way to live.  I can't really voice these feelings to my loved ones, can I? I'd either get the reassuring "no honey, you're fine" speech, the crazy look, or fear out of my children if they overhear me.  Since this heart thing last year, I feel so vulnerable to everything.  When my chest hurts for a moment, I wonder if its a heart attack.  But I didn't have a heart attack, you say.  I know that, but fear takes over.  If I feel flutters, I think, "oh no, I'm gonna have a VTAC", and anyone who's ever had those know that they can make you feel paralyzed, which equals helplessness.

So I have to keep the faith, I know.  I have to keep telling myself that it's ultimately not up to me when it'll be my time to go.  Worrying will accomplish nothing.  I have to live my life.

I want to let everyone know that my friend's baby is doing well.  Getting bigger and stronger, and he's adorable!
Also, I was very sad to hear of Talia Castellano's passing.  She's the little girl who was battling cancer.  She was 13, a very beautiful girl, and honorary Cover Girl.  Since she had no hair, she did a lot with her makeup.  Her makeup was always beautiful.
adweek.com

Anyway, I'm gonna try to keep telling myself that it'll be ok...I hope I can push through all of this negativity that's plaguing me, and learn to appreciate my life.  I'm grateful, of course, because I have a great husband and kids, but I've gotta give it all up to faith.  It's just taking time...(sneaking up on a year) :)

Late night thoughts and rambles...

The past couple of days has had me in a state of anxiety.  It all started with work on Thurs night.  I was at the computer, about to pull up the final totals for CMN (by the way, we came in 2nd, and were only 1 of the 2 stores that met our goal and surpassed it!!!!)…I was reading over the spreadsheet and all of a sudden, I got a little light headed and super hot.  I felt like I was going to pass out.  I let a couple people know where David's phone number was in case something happened, but I didn't want to make a big deal out of it.  Truthfully, if this had happened before surgery, and it probably did, I wouldn't have given it a 2nd thought.  It's funny how now, I notice every little thing.  The light headed, dizzy-esque feeling occurred a couple more times that night, but I pushed them aside, started breathing deeply, and told myself that I probably experienced a drop in blood pressure.  If you recall, my normal bp is about 102/58, so I figured that was the culprit.

Well, the episodes have occurred a few more times since then.  By a few, I don't really have a number.  Honestly, more than a few, but since I have no number, whatever…

I don't want to fret and call the doctor over every little thing.  They have a lot of patients that are in worse shape than I am to worry about…but I think Monday, I will call.  Some may tell me that I shouldn't wait until then, but I am NOT paying a $150 copay to the ER for nothing.  It's sad enough that I have to pay $65 each time I see Dr. Lane.  I know that money shouldn't be the issue when it comes to your health, but the bottom line is, I don't need to boggle David down anymore financially.  Especially if this is something normal that I'll have to live with forever.

Now to the part of my problem that does have me a bit more worried.  I still have pain.  Y'all, it's been 11 months (on July 8th), and I know that I had a major surgery, but come on…still in pain.  This is different though.  It's on my right side of my incision.  When I turn to the right, lay on my right side, and do things with my right arm, I get a super sharp, stabbing pain in the right side of my chest.  Now, we could go back to the old joke in which the doctor says, "well, don't do that", but I kinda have to use the right side of my body.  To experience that much pain just by turning over in the bed on my right side, that leads me to feel like I have to call the doctor.  I don't think going to the ER for that is going to be helpful.  What if Dr. Lane isn't on call?  Then, I'd have to tell my whole ordeal to the doctor I'd see, and he'd refer me to her anyway.  (Actually, I think that any doctor in any dept can see my records, as well as other patients, because of their new system, but anyway…still…)

So, I promise to get that call in to her on Monday.  I was supposed to go to see her the other day, but her office called and said that she can't see me until August 5th.  Some scheduling conflict…anyway…

Well, how about something that hurt my feelings, rather than my body?  Today, I went to my niece's birthday party (Happy 9th Birthday, Harley!!!!!!).

                                                   Thank you, oh website that I can't remember borrowing this image from!

As I was leaving, I dropped my iPhone.  My 5 month old iPhone…in its Otterbox, shattered.  The face is destroyed.  I dropped it on a stick, the glass shattered, and the stick broke in half.  Seriously…and we are the ones who didn't buy Apple Care, or any other kind of warranty.  I was upset at first, but as I was driving home, I kept telling myself that it was just a materialistic thing.  David had his old phone, the 4, which isn't very old, so I'm using that one.  I don't want to buy another one, especially right now, since they probably will come out with a 6 or something as soon as I do buy another one.  We are thinking of trying the new Samsung phone; I have no idea what it is called, but David is showing interest, so we'll see.

I am totally going to bed now, because I have to wake up early, try to workout without too much pain, and then go see my friend at the hospital.  She just had her baby, and while we're on the subject, let's all say a prayer for her and her baby.  He was born just yesterday, at 29 weeks, so he's little bitty thing.  He weighs 3.2lbs, and the doctors say that he is doing well, considering, so I'm hoping they will continue to do well.  I did get to see a pic, and he's adorable.

Goodnight!

10 months post-surgery...

I'm feeling ok...I see Dr. Lane in a couple of weeks.  Not too much has been going on heart-wise, other than being scolded at work for lifting heavy things.  I'm pretty good about not picking up things that are too heavy, but I'm also stubborn.  I don't want to get hurt, but I don't like feeling weak and helpless.  I felt something in my chest (across my incision) yesterday when I lifted up a 20 pk of Coke, and then again when I turned in my right side later on in the bed...ugh...old!!!

On a positive note, we're ending week 1 of our CMN campaign at work, and it's going well.  The Children's Miracle Network campaign is my baby.  I love helping to raise money for it, and I love everyone for chipping in and donating, some more than once.  I took a tour of the children's medical center last year, and all that money goes to a great cause.  I'm so grateful that my kids are healthy, but not everyone can be that fortunate.  When kids and parents are going through such health crises, the last thing they should be worried about is money or the care their children receive.  They should receive amazing care, regardless of their ability to pay.  This biannual campaign makes me grateful for what I have, and I want to always contribute.  Actually, I have a jar that all of my loose change is going in for these 3 weeks, and I'm turning it into the campaign at the end.  I'm curious to see how much I can save; I've already saved a few dollars in change.


Anyway, not much to update on, just didn't want to neglect this blog.

Tomorrow will be 9 months since surgery...

Along with my 9 month post-surgery anniversary, I had to make an appointment with my heart surgeon for tomorrow.  I'm not sure what happened, but he has to check my incision site.  I would imagine that it's unheard of so long after surgery, but I may have an infection or something.  About 2 weeks ago, I was bitten by a stupid mosquito on my chest.  It's just a regular bite that's almost gone, so I'm sure that's not the reason for the issue.  But what is going on is, that the top part of my zipper scar has been bleeding a little.  Mostly, what is bothering me is the pain.  It sounds weird, but I feel like my skin is being stretched and something is poking through.  I called my doctor this morning, and the nurse thinks one of my sutures is poking out.  What?!?!  I still have sutures?  She didn't say anything else but that I should come in tomorrow to let him look at it.

I'm not looking forward to it, but we have to find out what's going on...I'll update tomorrow...

1st off...

Let's all say some prayers for those that participated, or whose family and friends participated, in the Boston Marathon today.  The world is such a sad place already.  It makes me so sad.

I originally was going to tell y'all about my accomplishment this past Sat, but I'm so sad.


Well, as insignificant as it is, I hiked a mountain Sat.  We took the kidlets to Atlanta for the day.  First, we went to Legoland, which was pretty cool, and then we went to Stone Mountain.  It was pretty awesome.  We decided to hike up the mountain, which is a 1-mile hike, and towards the top, it was so steep that they have banisters to help you pull yourself up.  I thought I couldn't make it.  I had a mini panic attack, and stopped and told David and the kids to go up without me.  They kept going, and I stopped for a few.  I had a kind of epiphany, sitting there by myself.  Before the kids left me, Rianna told me that she knew I could do it, and that they'd see me at the top.  While I was sitting there thinking, I went back to 8 months ago, when I told my kids every day during the 2 weeks that I was in the hospital, to be brave.  Don't worry about mama, that I would be ok, and I would be brave as well.  So, I decided then that if I could ask them to be brave for me, then I could show them how brave I was.  I decided to finish hiking up the mountain.  I got up there, and we enjoyed a beautiful view that showcased downtown Atl, Kennesaw Mountains, and everything else.  Of course, going down was super easy (thank goodness)!

After we went up and down the mountain, we decided to take the skylift up.  That was probably one of the highlights for the kids.  It really is a pretty place.

My heart was beating super fast while trying to hike up.  But I finally made myself determined to finish that climb.  It was very worth it in the end.

8 months today!

The months are ticking by, and that's a good thing, I suppose.  It's been 8 months since surgery.  I'd like to say it's felt like a long time ago, but right now, not so much.  Fri, I started having pain, and it's still here, so it sucks.  I feel like I can barely move without pain protesting every step.  When I touch my chest, it feels like a bruise.  You know, when someone touches your visible bruise, mashes down, and asks, "Does this hurt?", and your first inclination is to slap the mess out of them?  Ha-kinda like that.  Also, when I move a certain way, I get a stabbing pain in my chest, and it has a burning kinda feeling…hard to explain…anyway, I left a message with Dr. Lane's office, so let's hope it's not 4 days from now when they get back to me.  Their message says that if you're having chest pains, to hang up and call 911…well, I'm not having a heart attack (fingers crossed that doesn't happen), so I'm not calling 911 and getting stuck with an ambulance bill and an ER bill…I'd rather pay my $65 copay to Dr. Lane's office and find out what's going on, than the ambulance bill, $150 copay to the ER, and then the hospital bill.  I've got enough hospital bills I'm paying on now, thankyouverymuch.

So, there's not much updating to do, just wanted to say that yay, it's been 8 months, but boo, I'm in pain…

Oh, let me add something that I was thinking about…when this all happened, I was watching Big Brother during the summer…I'd record it bc I was usually working, then watch it later.  That's what I was watching when I started feeling bad.  But, the thing I was thinking about, was how much David disliked the show…he isn't into many reality shows, unless there's "real" competition.  Anyway, since I was out of commission and missing my BB episodes, he left them on the DVR.  I was lying in the hospital and he texted me that I had some saved up.  Knowing that he hated the show and would have been watching whatever he wanted to watch, I told him he could erase them since I wasn't there.  But he kept them on there for me.  He said that I would need something to occupy my time when I got home, so he left them.  I just thought it was super sweet.  Bc later, I realized that I would have hated to miss the last parts of the season :)

It's the little things...

Does she want me to die?!?!

Haha...I had to call Dr. Lane's office to see if I needed to be prescribed a medicine before making my dentist appt.  The nurse called and said she had called me in some Amoxicillin.  Um...that's a form of penicillin; I'm allergic to penicillin.  Ok, well, we'll call you in something different.  I'm not sure what will happen if I do take penicillin and sulfa, but I also don't want to find out.  I know that the allergy info is in my chart, bc I have to answer the question every single time I go in and they question me.  So, I'm super glad that I am smart enough to know medicines and myself...

That's about it...just a quick note about that.  

Also, she's not the only doctor who has done that...my last primary care physician tried to prescribe me penicillin-based products 3 times!!!  If I hadn't asked, I'd have taken them.  

Oh wow, I'm so neglectful!!!

So, if I have any followers, (I'm not sure if that's what it's called in blogland), I apologize for the huge break between posts.  I actually had one started, but I got super sleepy, so I stopped...instead of posting that draft, I will just stick it to this one and continue this post.  

We had the Heart Walk Sat morning (the 9th).  It was pretty fun.  We had a great turnout.  Rianna completed her 5th 5k for a cause, Gage completed his 1st!!!  He started complaining about halfway through, but he finished like a champ!  They had a little pre-walk event, and the kids were super excited bc Thor, Spider-Man, and Superman were there.  Haha, they were pretty old.  I have a pic, I'll upload soon.  

I was pretty happy that I was able to do the whole 5k without trouble.  I've been pretty slack in working out, bc I'm always afraid something is going to happen.  But I did it and I felt good, so I'm going to start working out hard so I can be ready for summer.  My heart seems to be doing pretty good, so I need to keep making it stronger.  

But, of course, the klutz that I am decided to take a fall down the steps yesterday morning (on the 10th)...after being up and busy Sat morning from 530am to midnight, I had to be up again at 530 on Sun morning for work.  I was so exhausted, and usually closing at work and then reopening doesn't bother me, but bw being tired from lack of sleep, and the fact that I'm still extremely tired a lot, it was like a double dose of fatigue for me.  Anyway, I had my purse, keys, iPad, phone, and lunch in my hands, and I was going out the door and tripped...over nothing...I hit my right knee on the corner of the brick step and cut it, and then scraped my right shin...and my left leg twisted and I landed on it...ouch...it still hurts...I just burst into tears...luckily, my whole day wasn't miserable.  

I really don't have too much updating to do since I haven't seen Dr. Lane.  I won't see her til May.  I need to talk to her about my exhaustion.  When she took me off the Amiodarone and Metoprolol, it was supposed to help with the fatigue...but it hasn't.  I am tired all the time, I start feeling like falling asleep by 1pm, and it is horrible.  I take B12 vitamins, since I was told that was supposed to help.  

Ok, well, I think that's about it.  Oh, I volunteered today for the Child Enrichment program.  This is a program that helps children who come from abusive situations.  They had a cookout type thing, with games, food and music, raising money for them.  It was fun, but I'm hoping I don't get sick, bc it was super cold and rainy out.  I don't want to even think about coughing again, even though I'm healed.  But I'm still sore every morning, so I don't want to cough!

As soon as I get on the computer, I'll upload the pic from the Heart Walk...my iPad wont let me.

In pain today...

When I woke up this morning, I had my normal, stiff, pain in my chest, where it feels that I've worked out a lot (HA!)...but the pain didn't (read: hasn't) gone away.  This doesn't feel like my normal soreness.  I'm thinking I'm gonna have to bug the doctor tomorrow.  The pain isn't sharp, but it comes and goes all day long.  Before surgery, I wouldn't have bothered with slight pain like this.  Now, I get nervous.  I feel that I am more susceptible to aches and pains, and it's more noticeable now.  Not only this, I'VE BEEN SOOOOOOOOOOO TIRED today.  Overwhelmingly tired.  I have no energy.  I felt bad for my dad today, bc today's his birthday, and we had plans to get together.  My brother wanted us all to go to the basketball game tonight, but I was too tired.  So I begged out, and we are going to try to get together Sat.

Anyway, I'm super tired, so I'm going to bed.  I'll update more later.  

I hope everyone had a nice Valentine's Day!

David and I don't celebrate Valentine's Day with huge gifts or anything.  I had to work, so there was no point in trying to go out.  But...I did get my nails re-painted-they are red, with sparkly things in them.  I'll have to post a pic of them later.  I figure they are cute enough for Valentine's, plus they will work for the heart walk, which if everyone remembers, will be Mar 9th.  I'm working on getting tshirts ready to order, and I swear, I love them, but I have the most last-second friends of anyone I know.  Haha...I'm gonna have to light a fire under them.  So, I'm trying to get ready for that, I think we're going to have a great turnout and I can't wait.  I've already gotten some orders and some money, so we've got a start.

There's not too much news as far as my heart goes, and I think that's a good thing.  Dr. Lane's nurse called back and said that I don't have to see her again until May 31st, so that's great!  I still have soreness EVERY SINGLE MORNING!  #whensitgonnaend?!?!?!?!?!  My shoulder blades hurt every day too, and it's so aggravating, bc it affects my sitting at school, and my ability to fully do my job at work.  And let's not even discuss laundry!

Enough complaining about what I can't do.  I need to bring to everyone's attention, a little boy who has a story on FB (obviously by his parents, as he's super young), who is having such a hard time.  I won't go into detail, but he is in need of many prayers, as are his parents.  It's times like these when I have to learn to appreciate what I have, who I have, and what our situations consist of.  And why?  Bc my heart surgery is peanuts compared to what this little man has been going through.  I have healthy children.  I am very appreciative.  And so I pray this family can finally go home one day with their little boy, healthy.

Another little one that is constantly on my mind, is the son of one of my friends.  He has a congenital heart disease, and he is such a TROOPER!  He is totally cute too.  He is so happy, although he's been through so much.  So I think of him often bc I've been through nothing compared to him.

Anyway, if I have any news, I will update, as usual.

Some good news today!!!!

It wasn't long after I made my last post that Dr. Howard's (the sleep study specialist) nurse called me.  He reviewed my results and guess what?!?!?!?!  No sleep apnea, no sleep disorders that he can see!  That makes me happy!  It really lifted my spirits up.  She said that I need to get back to Dr. Lane for further testing if she is still unhappy with what is going on, and when I called, they told me that they would get back to me Monday.

So I'm going to try to relax this weekend.  I have to work all weekend, but I'm off Sunday in time for the Super Bowl.  I'm not a fan of either team playing, but I love football.  So this weekend, I'll cheer for the 49ers.  Hopefully, my Pats make it next year.

Oh-and things are coming together for the Heart Walk.  I'm excited to be leading a team.  I talked to the lady today about prices and other information for tshirts, let my team know, and I even talked with someone today who said that she'd like to "sponsor" me.  Not to mention, my friend Tabitha has an Etsy shop and is donating a portion of the heart items she sells to the AHA.  All that is left besides the actual walk is deciding on a team name and getting the shirts ordered.  YAY!

Any ideas for a team name, let me know.  Rianna and I have thought of a few, but new ideas are always welcomed!

Today is Wear Red for Women :)

Today, Feb 1st, is National Wear Red for Women!  This is to bring awareness to the fact that heart disease is the #1 killer of women.  The kids and I have our red on today...there isn't much red in the closets of our household since we aren't GA fans, we're Gators fans, but we do have 1 shirt.  Rianna and Gage were so excited this morning to wear their red shirts.  It made my heart melt.

So, updates anyone?  Not much...Dr. Lane's nurse called back and said that she had read the results from my sleep study, and that I'm being referred to Dr. Howard, a sleep specialist.  She (the nurse) said that all she knows is that my O2 levels drop when I'm sleeping.  Yeah, I already know that, hence the reason for the initial sleep study.  All I can think about is how I'm soooooooo old before my time.  I hate it.  I thought that after surgery, I wouldn't have to worry so much.  Especially since they said I wouldn't need more surgery (unless something drastic happens).  In the meantime, I'm having up and down days...today is actually a down day.  I hate the feeling that I can't walk across campus at school without feeling like I'm gonna drop dead.  My text to David this morning:  Everytime my chest hurts or there's a small discomfort, I get worried that I'm going to drop dead.  I'm not exaggerating, I'm not being a drama queen, I'm legitimately scared.  

I hate feeling this way, but I can't help it.  I guess it just comes w the territory.  

Anyway, I'm going to try to make myself feel better.  I don't want to be Debbie Downer or pessimistic or whiny.  

I am going to post a link to the American Heart Association's website:

American Heart Association

And the Go Red for Women page:

Go Red For Women

Sleep study complete...

Now, we just await the results, and find out what's next.  I hope the sleep study comes back normal, but truthfully, it was hard getting to sleep that night.  I was super tired, but there were so many outside distractions that I usually don't have to worry about.  When I got to the hospital, it took about an hour to hook me up to all the wires.  I contemplated taking a pic, but decided not to…should have, it would have been funny.  There were wires everywhere.  I had adhesive everywhere!  They had about 4 or 5 wires attached to my head, 2 on each leg, some on my chest and abdomen, and about 6 or 8 on my face and neck…weird.  I remember thinking, "how am I supposed to sleep normally in this contraption of wires?"  I started falling asleep quickly, but outside, I could hear a barking dog.  I mean, it was in the 30s; who leaves their dog outside all night when it's freezing?!?!  I felt so bad for him.  Also, I could hear the train coming through.  Finally, I was able to sleep.  Once I fell asleep, I slept pretty well.  Or, as far as I know, I did.  It's weird having a camera staring down at your bed.  I guess the word of the day is 'weird', lol.  At 6am, she woke me up to get ready to go home.  Really?  I couldn't sleep in?  I think that would have helped the study, really…but anyway, I got dressed, filled out a survey about my night of sleep, and came home.  I thought that since it was 630, I'd go back to bed.  So, I climbed in bed, and as soon as I did, I heard, "hi mama"…Rianna was up…she's an early bird.  

The sleep study tech said that the sleep specialist will go over my results within 5 to 7 days, analyze them, and determine if I need to come back for a further test.  If everything was normal, I have to go to my cardiologist and see if she can figure out what's going on.  Last night, I worked, and I had a few (quite a few) heart palpitations.  I figured it's because I was moving around a lot last night, and I'm off my heart meds, which slow down my heart rate.  So maybe that was the problem.  I felt fine, I just had the fluttering in my heart and got a little nervous.  

Also, I'm debating on whether or not to post pics of my zipper scar, from new to now.  I'll let y'all know what I decide.  

Oh, by the way, I need to shout out a very special message to my baby boy.  HAPPY 7TH BIRTHDAY GAGE!  MAMA LOVES YOU SO VERY MUCH!!!!!  I bought him a super large cupcake and of course, he couldn't finish it.  But it made him happy!

Another setback

Dr. Lane's nurse called me today.  She received the EKG printouts from the telemetry people and she saw some "pauses" that are questionable.  So what I have to do is put the telemetry monitor back on for 30 more days, go off all my heart medication (the Metoprolol and Amiodarone), and go for a sleep study.  I have no idea why we need a sleep study done.  I called Cardionet, and I still have to send the equipment back bc it's been deactivated.  Then Dr. Lane has to reorder it, and they will resend it back out.  I'm so aggravated…and scared.  I am so exhausted over all this…I'm hoping that the meds are the culprit for the pauses, and then maybe I can just quit taking those permanently, but I'm not holding my breath for it…

I really hope that it's not anything too serious.  I don't know how much more I can take.  So here I am, waiting for the doctor to call back, find out when I have to go for the sleep study, and finding out what's going on.  I have to go to Trinity Hospital overnight, and I hope it doesn't interfere with work or school.  I don't need anything else to get in the way of school, bc something always does.  

Ok, well, I am going to do some googling or skimming through old anatomy texts to find out why I am needing this sleep study, bc I don't like surprises or suspense, and I will update when I hear something else.  

News!!

The telemetry monitor is gone!  Whoo-hoo!  I'm currently not attached to anything.  It deactivated this morning, and I'm totally happy.  Now, my doctor reads the EKGs and then determines if I need the defibrillator implanted.  I doubt I will, bc I didn't need to record too many "events" during my long 30 days of wearing it, just the occasional arrhythmia, and we all have those.  So fingers crossed that she doesn't see anything questionable, and that I can basically be free from tests, besides my annual echoes.

Next step-hoping my skin heals well after all these sticky electrodes have been on there for 30 days, 24/7…ugh!  I'd have to stick them in different areas, but in about the same region every day, and there are not many different areas on my chest and ribs that they can go.

After 2 weeks in the hospital with their telemetry on me 24/7 besides shower time and x-rays, and 3 months with that portable defibrillator, and now these last 30 days of the telemetry monitor, I am Fa-reeeeeeeeee!

I am super duper happy (I know, who says duper anymore, but whatever), and just wanted to share it with everyone…small news can be good news.

In case anyone was wondering, this is what it looks like:

                                                       thanks google images

Now, this handsome devil is not me, I'm a girl, but this is what the system looks like.  I had that cord around my neck for 30 days, the 3 electrodes and wires on my body every day, and that little awesome 90s-esque cell phone looking thing in his hand?  Well, that was attached to my hip…fun stuff…

Cardionet is the provider of this telemetry system, and the customer service was pretty awesome.  What was cool is that they sent out about 30 or so batteries, bc the batteries had to be changed every, single day.  The monitor thingie had to be charged a lot.  One of the things I hope they improve on is the monitor.  It lost its charge within a few hours, and lots of times, I couldn't recharge until I got home.  And they also could, and I think they did, improve the stinking size of it.  We have little iPods, and now iPad minis, but this huge thing?  Actually, I saw a recent pic of what their newer machines look like, and I was thinking, "why the heck did they send me something so huge and dated?"  Apparently, I'm not special enough to have received the more convenient one.  So, to end, I'm super happy that I got rid of it, the customer service people were pretty helpful and nice, but the actual monitor itself left something to be desired.

So, yeah, happy dance for me!