There's a customer that comes in my store. I'd say he's in his 50s, at the most. He was in a car accident last year, and got hurt pretty badly. I'm not sure of all the details, but he walks with a cane, and has a hard time getting around now. I help him out a lot, even if he has just a couple of bags. If I can't, I get someone else to help. He came up to me the other day, and asked if I felt under-appreciated since this whole heart thing happened. He was having an off day, and felt that way. I told him that I really haven't felt unappreciated, but I feel misunderstood at times. I don't think that people understand what I've gone through unless they've gone through it themselves. I know that I have to be in better shape. I know that it'll be good for my heart. But for the past 3 days, I just can't get it together. I've had PVCs, my heart rate has gone up to 102, I've had anxiety (for no reason that I know of), and I'm so tired. I work a lot, not overworked...it's only 40 hrs, just like normal jobs. I haven't been able to make myself go workout before or after work. I feel that my job is such a workout at times, that I can't push myself to do more. I know that my job isn't a strenuous workout, but some days, I feel like I'm put through the ringer.
I love David, and I know that he pushes me to be better, for different reasons. He wants me healthy so that I can be here for our kids. I feel that he doesn't understand how tired I am at times. I want to be better, but some days, I feel that it's hard to do extra...
That being said, I will do better. I'm going to do it. Even when I feel like I can't, I'm gonna have to push myself. I can't overdo it, but I have to try to get it together. I'll keep y'all updated on how that goes. I'll be calling Dr. Lane tomorrow, anyway, just to give her a heads up on what's been going on this weekend. Maybe she'll have suggestions to help me cope with this better.
Hopefully, everyone had a good Easter.
