Monday, April 21, 2014

Misunderstood? Under-appreciated?

There's a customer that comes in my store.  I'd say he's in his 50s, at the most.  He was in a car accident last year, and got hurt pretty badly.  I'm not sure of all the details, but he walks with a cane, and has a hard time getting around now.  I help him out a lot, even if he has just a couple of bags.  If I can't, I get someone else to help.  He came up to me the other day, and asked if I felt under-appreciated since this whole heart thing happened.  He was having an off day, and felt that way.  I told him that I really haven't felt unappreciated, but I feel misunderstood at times.  I don't think that people understand what I've gone through unless they've gone through it themselves.  I know that I have to be in better shape.  I know that it'll be good for my heart.  But for the past 3 days, I just can't get it together.  I've had PVCs, my heart rate has gone up to 102, I've had anxiety (for no reason that I know of), and I'm so tired.  I work a lot, not's only 40 hrs, just like normal jobs.  I haven't been able to make myself go workout before or after work.  I feel that my job is such a workout at times, that I can't push myself to do more.  I know that my job isn't a strenuous workout, but some days, I feel like I'm put through the ringer.  

I love David, and I know that he pushes me to be better, for different reasons.  He wants me healthy so that I can be here for our kids.  I feel that he doesn't understand how tired I am at times.  I want to be better, but some days, I feel that it's hard to do extra...

That being said, I will do better.  I'm going to do it.  Even when I feel like I can't, I'm gonna have to push myself.  I can't overdo it, but I have to try to get it together.  I'll keep y'all updated on how that goes.  I'll be calling Dr. Lane tomorrow, anyway, just to give her a heads up on what's been going on this weekend.  Maybe she'll have suggestions to help me cope with this better.

Hopefully, everyone had a good Easter.  

No comments:

Post a Comment