Wednesday, November 13, 2013

Appt yesterday...

I was supposed to go last week to see Dr. Lane, but they called and had to reschedule me. 

Dr. Lane said that everything looks pretty good.  She went over my Echo with me.  She said that the repair looks so good, that you can't tell it's patched, unless you knew beforehand.  My mitral valve is leaking though-still or again-I'm not sure.  Dr. Lane said that it's not uncommon for that to happen, especially since mine was repaired using my own valve.  Dr. Hunter had to sew the leaflets together.  Other options would have been mechanical or bovine, neither of which seemed appealing.  Either way, we always knew that there could be possibilities of MV repair not working, or not lasting.  Mechanical valves sometimes have to be replaced, and those that have mechanical valves have to be on Coumadin or other blood thinners for life.  With bovine, I think there's always the chance of having to replace them too, bc they wear out.  

Something else Dr. Lane touched on was whether or not we were having more children.  Last time, she said that if we decided to, I should be in good shape to go through pregnancy, especially since I've done it twice before.  But...yesterday, she said it's a good idea if we don't try to have more children.  It's sad, knowing that it's so life-threatening if I want to get pregnant again.  It was extremely life-threatening when I was pregnant with Rianna and Gage, but not knowing about my heart thing, I didn't have that to worry about.  Thankfully, I have my 2 babies and we don't want any more.  

Yesterday's appointment was supposed to be my release appt.  I was supposed to be released for a year if everything went well.  Instead, I have to go back in 8 months, and after that, we will schedule another Echo.  She did say that my heart is decreasing in size (no wise cracks!), so that is good.

I think that is about everything we discussed.  I'm definitely feeling sadder than I was before my appt.  I hope I don't get into a depression.  I'm already upset over all this, not just from what I learned yesterday, but from becoming a heart patient, period.  I know my life was basically saved and extended, but I feel that I am susceptible to everything that can happen with a person's heart.  Every little thing now gets to me.  I wonder if this condition of the heart, or this disease, is going to "get me".  The feelings are so hard to turn off in my head.  David always tells me I'm ok.  I just can't convince myself that I'll be ok.  

Well, I don't think I have any more updates, or complaints, so I'll update next time I do...or the next time I need to let out my feelings.