Monday, April 21, 2014

Misunderstood? Under-appreciated?

There's a customer that comes in my store.  I'd say he's in his 50s, at the most.  He was in a car accident last year, and got hurt pretty badly.  I'm not sure of all the details, but he walks with a cane, and has a hard time getting around now.  I help him out a lot, even if he has just a couple of bags.  If I can't, I get someone else to help.  He came up to me the other day, and asked if I felt under-appreciated since this whole heart thing happened.  He was having an off day, and felt that way.  I told him that I really haven't felt unappreciated, but I feel misunderstood at times.  I don't think that people understand what I've gone through unless they've gone through it themselves.  I know that I have to be in better shape.  I know that it'll be good for my heart.  But for the past 3 days, I just can't get it together.  I've had PVCs, my heart rate has gone up to 102, I've had anxiety (for no reason that I know of), and I'm so tired.  I work a lot, not's only 40 hrs, just like normal jobs.  I haven't been able to make myself go workout before or after work.  I feel that my job is such a workout at times, that I can't push myself to do more.  I know that my job isn't a strenuous workout, but some days, I feel like I'm put through the ringer.  

I love David, and I know that he pushes me to be better, for different reasons.  He wants me healthy so that I can be here for our kids.  I feel that he doesn't understand how tired I am at times.  I want to be better, but some days, I feel that it's hard to do extra...

That being said, I will do better.  I'm going to do it.  Even when I feel like I can't, I'm gonna have to push myself.  I can't overdo it, but I have to try to get it together.  I'll keep y'all updated on how that goes.  I'll be calling Dr. Lane tomorrow, anyway, just to give her a heads up on what's been going on this weekend.  Maybe she'll have suggestions to help me cope with this better.

Hopefully, everyone had a good Easter.  

Tuesday, April 15, 2014

I have a funny feeling...

Remember when Dr. Lane said that I will have to have mitral valve repair again; we're just not sure when?  Well, I'm wondering if I'll have it sooner than we all thought.  The reason is because I've been feeling different lately.  For instance, I never get tired at work.  I mean, I get sorta tired, because I'm up early every day, but I don't get so tired that I'm ready to leave less than halfway in my shift.  Last Sunday, my schedule was 7-3.  When I'm scheduled 7-3, I usually leave around 4 or later.  But last Sun, I practically ran out the door at 3 on the dot.  I could barely walk straight, I swear.  I was counting down the hours til time to leave.  I felt irritable too.  And it actually lasted all week.  Not the irritability, but the fatigue.  Also, I've been having pains and discomforts in my chest.  I can't describe them.  Not like I'm having a heart attack or something, but it's just hard to describe.  

Ugh, I hate this feeling...I hate having no control, and I don't want to feel like a hypochondriac.  I really just want this to go away.

Ok, just wanted to get that out.  I need to go to bed now...I'll call Dr. Lane's office tomorrow and update here if needed.

Tuesday, February 11, 2014

Nothing much to say

But, I figured I should at least say something.  Last night, kinda late, and early this morning, I felt flutters, aka PVCs.  I think drinking 2 glasses of tea last night at dinner was the culprit.  So I pretty much laid around the house today, until I had to go get groceries.  I don't see Dr. Lane until summer, so I hope nothing else goes on.  Yesterday, I walked over 4 miles at Savannah Rapids.  Maybe I overdid it, but I don't know.  I felt the workout, but I wasn't super tired or even out of breath afterwards, so I really don't think it was because of that.  Anyway, I was proud of myself for doing it, so I'll have to lay off the caffeine to lessen the PVCs.

Until next time...

Saturday, January 11, 2014

Heart Walk 2014

The heart walk will be on March 8th.  This year, I'm not forming a team.  Last year was a headache, bc people ordered shirts and never paid for them.  Still haven't paid for them.  I paid a lot out of pocket for those that didn't.  So I decided that instead of putting so much effort into tshirts, I'll just try to fund raise a little.

Also, Go Red For Women is Feb 7th, so everyone, make sure you wear your red.  Heart disease is the #1 killer in women, and we need to bring awareness to it.

Not much else to say, so I'll leave it at that.

Wednesday, November 13, 2013

Appt yesterday...

I was supposed to go last week to see Dr. Lane, but they called and had to reschedule me. 

Dr. Lane said that everything looks pretty good.  She went over my Echo with me.  She said that the repair looks so good, that you can't tell it's patched, unless you knew beforehand.  My mitral valve is leaking though-still or again-I'm not sure.  Dr. Lane said that it's not uncommon for that to happen, especially since mine was repaired using my own valve.  Dr. Hunter had to sew the leaflets together.  Other options would have been mechanical or bovine, neither of which seemed appealing.  Either way, we always knew that there could be possibilities of MV repair not working, or not lasting.  Mechanical valves sometimes have to be replaced, and those that have mechanical valves have to be on Coumadin or other blood thinners for life.  With bovine, I think there's always the chance of having to replace them too, bc they wear out.  

Something else Dr. Lane touched on was whether or not we were having more children.  Last time, she said that if we decided to, I should be in good shape to go through pregnancy, especially since I've done it twice before.  But...yesterday, she said it's a good idea if we don't try to have more children.  It's sad, knowing that it's so life-threatening if I want to get pregnant again.  It was extremely life-threatening when I was pregnant with Rianna and Gage, but not knowing about my heart thing, I didn't have that to worry about.  Thankfully, I have my 2 babies and we don't want any more.  

Yesterday's appointment was supposed to be my release appt.  I was supposed to be released for a year if everything went well.  Instead, I have to go back in 8 months, and after that, we will schedule another Echo.  She did say that my heart is decreasing in size (no wise cracks!), so that is good.

I think that is about everything we discussed.  I'm definitely feeling sadder than I was before my appt.  I hope I don't get into a depression.  I'm already upset over all this, not just from what I learned yesterday, but from becoming a heart patient, period.  I know my life was basically saved and extended, but I feel that I am susceptible to everything that can happen with a person's heart.  Every little thing now gets to me.  I wonder if this condition of the heart, or this disease, is going to "get me".  The feelings are so hard to turn off in my head.  David always tells me I'm ok.  I just can't convince myself that I'll be ok.  

Well, I don't think I have any more updates, or complaints, so I'll update next time I do...or the next time I need to let out my feelings.

Friday, October 25, 2013

A little more neglect...

I don't have much to post, but I needed to stop in and say "hello"…

My blood test results were fine, according to Dr. Lane's nurse.  I actually go back to see her on Nov 7th.  I had my 1 yr echo on Oct 7th.  I'm not sure of the results of that yet, bc the technician isn't allowed to tell you anything, and Dr. Lane hasn't called me.  I'm guessing 'no news is good news'; at least, that's what I'm hoping.  She was out of the office all last week, so the nurse said she hasn't reviewed the echo.  Pins and needles!!!

I'm feeling ok; still tired all the time.  I do stay on the go a lot, but in my downtime, I'm still tired.  I have my days…days where I feel awful, don't want to get out of bed, etc.  But I have a lot of good days.  Although just a few minutes ago, I had the most painful hiccups.  They hurt my chest sooooooo bad.  On the left side…I felt like someone kept punching me right there…weird…they lasted forever!

My Mawmaw (the one I used to live with, and is now in the nursing home-stupid Alzheimer's!) was in the hospital last week.  She had pneumonia.  Obviously, since I haven't had my flu shot yet, I didn't go visit her.  But I am always thinking about her.  I love that woman so much, and I miss all the old, good times we had.

Speaking of…go get your flu shots people!!!  The kids are going for theirs today at 230, and I'm going sometime this weekend.  I'm going to Walgreen's for mine, and so is David.  At Walgreen's, if you get a shot, they give a shot…to someone in an underdeveloped country.  I like it.  I like everything, even little things, that can make a big difference.

Anyway, I have to go.  As soon as I hear anything, I'll post about it.  It probably won't be until after my appointment though.

Oh, one more thing:

HAPPBIRTHDAY to my niece HALEY!!!!  I love you!!!!!!

Saturday, September 14, 2013

CMN update...

I don't have an update on my heart (which is fantastic news!), so I thought I'd do a CMN update…

We are entering the home stretch.  Our fall campaign lasts for only 2 weeks, and I'm proud to say that we surpassed our goal.  Our customers and employees who've continuously donated are super awesome!  And it's for such a good cause.  I'm actually looking into an event our company does (and I think it's year-round) to start working on.  I'll let y'all know as soon as it happens.

I hate the feeling that I'm neglecting this blog, but I really don't have any news.  Um…ok, well, I need to have my other 2 wisdom teeth taken out…so do not wanna, but they're starting to bother me.  I wish Dr. Chain Smoker would have taken them all at once.  I'm not going back to him for these, and if my insurance says I have to, they can kiss it.  I can't stand that I was inhaling his smoke breath while he was digging around in my mouth.  That was worse than the million-needle-sticks in the mouth.  Blech!

Oh, another reason I'm dreading the dentist is bc of having to take meds beforehand.  As a heart patient, it's important…and a headache…you have to plan everything.

Anyway, talk later...