Tuesday, August 7, 2012

T-1 day...

I'm a bundle of nerves today. For one, I was supposed to have had surgery this morning, but they came in yesterday and said it would be tomorrow. The reason was bc of the doc's on-call schedule. He wanted to make sure that if I needed him the night that I had my surgery, that he would be the one on-call. Plus, he was on last night and didn't want to do my surgery after being on-call all night. I have to respect that. This morning, at 11, my family and surgeon (along with his PA and NP) met up in my room to discuss every little detail. Risks, outcome percentages, everything that I could both be happy and upset about. This is the real thing. Open heart is major. I know I need the surgery, bc they already said that it's amazing I made it to be 30 years old. When you hear something like that, you think it's an exaggeration. But my doctor was not exaggerating. She said without the surgery, I probably wouldn't live 10 more years. I need longer than that with my husband and kids.

Late yesterday, Ashley came and sat with me. We talked for a long while. We are planning our next concert :) She's great. David gets to spend the night with me tonight, I'm very grateful. He needs strength too, and I've prayed for it. He has been strong, but today, he started losing it a little. But, the good news is, we were by ourselves for awhile today and we got to talk. We haven't really been able to do that, bc I always have visitors. I'm glad I've had such great visitors, but he and I really needed that today. If I ever had any doubts about us, they are gone. I'm gonna aggravate him forever...and ever!!! Bwhahahaha...anyway, the kids had their first day of school today. David took them and he let them call me at 730 this morning to talk to me. He was making their lunches and Rianna was giving me a play by play. I talked to both Rianna and Gage and told them that I love them, I want them to have fun at school, and that I'll be home as soon as possible. That's my goal. David is picking them up this afternoon and they will call me to tell me how their first day went. Actually, we will be Facetiming. I'll get to see their beautiful faces. So visitors today included my stepdad and Connie, mom and dad, and Aunt Debra. Along with David, but he's not a visitor, he's my husband, my better half. My sister, Tammy, told me that in her times of need, she focuses on Psalm 91. I read it, and I will read it over and over. I love that she showed me that. David will be the only one who can see me tomorrow and possible the next day. I sent out a note on FB that basically said that anyone who has been sick, is getting sick, has sick kids, or even feels like they are getting sick, does not need to come here. I catch colds easily when I'm well, so I definitely don't need the chance of getting sick after surgery. I need to be as strong as possible. Well, I may write more later tonight, but for now, I'm going to try to take a nap.

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