Almost 2 years?!?!?!

I should be ashamed of myself for not keeping this blog updated!  It's kind of hard, though, when you have Facebook, and when super busy.  

I had an appointment with Dr. Lane today.  Just a quick follow-up from last time.  Last time I saw her, she scolded me for not seeing her before our trip to California.  We had driven, and on the way back, my legs and ankles were swelling.  It was bad!  So today, she made sure I had my compression socks, and sent a prescription for Lasix to the pharmacy.  I don't have to take it unless I notice swelling (or feel it coming on).  Lasix is just a diuretic, nothing too fancy.  I should be fine on this trip (no clue when we're going)...

Dr. Lane couldn't hear the regurgitation, and said that she's confident I won't have to have my mitral valve repaired again for many years.  We will know for sure on August 29th when I go back for my echo, if it's progressed.  Super smiley face here 😃😃--I won't see her that day, but I'll get the results a few days later, and see her in December.  Now I've got to work on this weight, which I'm trying to do.  It's so difficult!!!!

Anyway, I'll try to update more often, but for now, I'm out!!

As I lay myself down to sleep tonight...

I want to thank the Lord for keeping me here 3 years ago.  On July 31, 2012, I literally thought I was going to die, especially when the nurses and doctors were keeping me in the dark bc even they didn't know what to tell me (other than the on-call ER doc accusing me of overdosing on drugs).  Anyway, I cried and prayed every single day that I was in that hospital that God wouldn't take me away before seeing my kids grow up.  I don't think of it as being selfish, I knew that either way, it was His choice. I had written letters to David and the kids, telling them how much I loved them, and how proud I was of them.  I didn't let the kids know how worried I was.  They were worried enough just knowing that their mama was in the hospital.  I've had some scares since surgery, but I'm working on calming my nerves.

I try not to take my life for granted; I try to be happy and grateful for my life every day.   I hope that I always remember to do that.  

So goodnight, sleep tight, and thank God for everything!

There's really nothing to update, but

I hate neglecting my blog.  School is about to start again for the kiddos, so pretty soon, life will be even more hectic.  Right now, I'm the only one with a schedule to keep.  Rianna has a sports physical on Thurs, and the kids have to get their hearts checked out soon, so I hope and pray that I will have good news from their appts.

I will say that every morning here lately, I wake up to a sore chest, only on the left side.  Dr. Lane said that I would be sore for years, but I don't think she meant there.  I put in a call to her office about the kids' Echos, so when I hear back from them, I'll also ask if that is normal.

I'll update whenever I find out anything.

A quick post...

I went to Dr. Lane the other day for my follow-up, and got pretty good news.  She reviewed my last Echo and said that everything looked ok.  She can definitely see the regurgitation, but she can't hear it.  The regurgitation hasn't progressed, so that is good.  There's no time table yet for future surgery, so yay.  My next appointment is in Oct, when I go back for my Echo, and this time, it'll be a stress one so she can try to hear the regurgitation.  Also, I'll have blood work a few weeks prior so that she can review that.  She also wants that stress Echo because she says my heart rate is still low.  It always has been, or at least, since I've been aware of my condition.

I explained my concern for the kids' hearts, and she is going to see them this summer.  She wants each of them to have an Echo so she can rule out heart issues for them.  So please pray that they get good results!

That's about all I have for now.  I'll update with anything else later...

It's been forever...

Baby Avery went to be with Jesus on Jan 3rd.  It's been a very sad time for my family, but their faith really helps ease the pain.  I don't know how anyone ever gets over losing a child-as a matter of fact, I'm sure one never does.  

I've got my nails done (Jamberry-style) for Valentine's/Go Red Day/Month/etc.  Go Red Day is tomorrow, and since I'll be working and not wearing red clothes, the nails and my red dress pin will be my red...the heart walk is on Mar 7th, and so is the Heart and Sole walk.  I'm going to do the Heart and Sole, I think, for Avery and all the other little heart patients.  That's the plan.  Also, the kids are participating in Jump Rope for Heart.  They're collecting donations and jumping in memory of Avery.

Anyway, that's all I've got tonight.  I have an appt with my cardiologist on Feb 23rd, so I'll update then.  Night...

Prayers needed...

Not for me, but for my cousin's little baby girl, Avery.  She was born with Tetralogy of Fallot, (you can read about it here-http://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/heartdefects/TetralogyOfFallot.html).  She has been in the hospital for the last 3-4 weeks, because she had to have the 1st surgery.  She's been on ECMO this entire time too.  ECMO is basically heart and lung bypass.  It's helpful in that it does the work of the heart and lungs when a patient is really sick, but it can also be harmful to be on it for too long.  She went in this evening to have another surgery.  She has to have mitral valve repair and also surgery to help get better blood flow in her left and right ventricles.  It's very serious, and I can only pray that everything will be ok.  I can't imagine everything my aunt, cousin, her husband, and their children are going through.  I feel pretty helpless, because I don't want to go to the hospital, but there's really not too much I can do.  I don't want to go to the hospital because I can't see her, and I don't want to drag germs from work, home, outside, the hospital, etc in to her parents, and then they take them in to her.  She doesn't need that.  So I told my aunt and cousin that I will continue to pray and if they need anything, don't hesitate to let me know.

I hate seeing a child having to go through something so serious, a matter of life and death.  Someone said earlier that it's a shame so close to Christmastime, but I believe that no time is a good time for this.

If you're reading my blog, and you're the praying kind, please send up your prayers for Avery.  There's no such thing as too much prayer, or just enough prayer.

And also, in case I don't get back on this week, I hope y'all have a very

Merry Christmas!  

There's not too much to update on...

Nothing, really...I went in last month for my annual echo, and I don't know the results yet, of course.  They're never allowed to tell you anything, until the doctor gets the results.  I'm going with the "no news is good news" thing, because I haven't heard back about it.  I'm assuming that if there was something wrong, I would have gotten a phone call.  I go back in Feb, so Dr. Lane can access it then.

I did get my flu shot.  I've been pretty adamant about it every year anyway, so it was bound to happen.  I've been feeling pretty good.  Sometimes, I get the pains in my chest, more on my scar than on either side, so I guess that's ok.  That'll happen for the next few years.  It's getting colder weather, so I'll start feeling it.  I hate when that happens!

I'm turning 33 on Thurs.  I was talking to David about it the other night, talking about feeling old.  I said, "I can't believe that in a few days, I'll be 33-I'm so old."  And David said, "hey, think of it this way-2 years ago, we almost didn't have you, so be grateful."  So I'm trying to think that way.  I should be happy that I'm getting older, because then, at least I'm still here.

Well, I'm not going to get sappy or anything, so I'm gonna go.  I'll update if I hear anything, or feel anything.

Cardiology appt

This past Tues, I had an appointment with Dr. Lane.  It was my 8-month checkup.  She is still amazed at how nothing catastrophic happened before I had surgery.  She said that my heart looked and sounded good.  In Oct, I'll go in for my annual echo, and that'll determine how much the mitral valve regurgitation has progressed since last year.  I'm hoping for good news from that.  I'm thinking that since I've felt pretty good, that it probably hasn't progressed too much.  My blood pressure was still good (I think it was 110/60).  Dr. Lane said that my venous reflux turned out just fine.  In case I haven't written about it, I'll do so quickly.  My legs have swollen on some occasions, and I really don't know why.  I went in a few weeks ago, and they did a venous reflux.  This is basically a sonogram of the veins in my legs.  Just the usual spiel:  lay off sodium (which I do), and wear compression stockings (which I do sometimes)...

Also, my scar looks horrible at the top.  Which sucks, since it's hard to wear some of my shirts without feeling self-conscious.  So she is setting me up with a plastic surgeon.  This should happen in the next couple of weeks, I think.

I'll go back to her office in Feb, when she'll give me the results from my echo, and hopefully, I'll remain healthy in the meantime.  

August 8th...

it's my 2 year anniversary of my surgery!!  It's kinda hard to believe.  I've had some obstacles along the way, but I'm so much better than I was before surgery (when I didn't know I had a problem).

Recent problems have been: swelling and pain...sometimes, I have random swelling.  It comes on at weird times.  It's not because I eat a lot of salt.  It doesn't have a pattern, at least, not that I'm aware of.  Pain-I'm going to have pain for a while, on and off...I think I may have strained my chest somehow because of getting carts at work.  It's my fault, I suppose.  I need to let someone else get them sometime...I'll try it tomorrow :)

Anyway, I did go to the outpatient clinic the other day for a scan on my legs.  Dr. Lane wanted me to get a venous reflux study done, which is fancy wording for "ultrasound on my legs"...she wanted to see if there's a venous insufficiency.  I didn't get results right then (naturally), but I have go see her on August 19th.  I think I also have my annual-not so annual-echo.  It was supposed to be annual, but with my last one, since she saw mitral valve regurgitation again, I had to go only 8 months.  So, I think I will know that day if I'm going to have to have it sooner or later.  I'm trying to not let it get to me.  I really don't want another surgery, less invasive or not.  I don't have much time to devote 2 weeks to surgery and recovery.

Exercise is going well.  I could do more, I admit, but I am working on it.  I'll get there.  Well, I've gotta get some sleep.  I have to be up early to workout and get everyone ready for school and work.  It's hard to believe I have 5th and 3rd graders.  They're growing up!!

I will update once I've had my appointment with Dr. Lane on the 19th.  Wish me luck, and keep me in your prayers please!  I'll pray for y'all too!

It's summertime again...

which means that this is the time of year that everyone starts getting back into shape.  For me, it means the same, but it also means that we're coming up on 2 years since my surgery.

I constantly switch gears on my feelings towards the way we dress in summer.  I can't wear a turtleneck or scarf in summer, so with my current wardrobe, I have to show my scar a lot.  It's not pretty.  I put coconut oil on it every night before bed, and sometimes the next morning after my shower.  I don't have a bathing suit that can cover it up, so I basically have no choice but to show it off.  But I'm trying to make myself get over it.  I mean, it's not a hickey or other embarrassing mark, right?  It's what I had to do to save my life.  Still, when people stare, I want to tell them off.  The other day, I read where one little 3 year old girl's family were told in KFC that they had to leave bc her scars scared other patrons.  If this story is true, and I believe it is, it's unreal how people behave.  I  would've told them off if it were my child.

Also, I've started my exercising again.  Right now, it's only walking around the neighborhood a few miles.  It's tough, the hills are brutal, but I know I have to.  I feel like I'm gonna die!  My heart starts beating really fast (I'm sure all of ours do!), but I feel like I'm gonna pass out anytime.  When I was walking before, I'd feel like that and then just quit.  I would lessen the miles I walk, and obviously, the time that I walked.

I had a revelation yesterday.  I'm not saying I won't worry anymore; I'm not saying that it'll be easy, and I'm not saying that I won't want to quit.  But, yesterday morning, when my alarm went off at 7, I got up and went for my few miles.  I wanted to quit, but David was asleep.  What was I going to do, get around the corner and call him to come get me?!?!  Absolutely not!  I made it back home, and decided that from now on, I'll just let him know where I am.  I'll tell him my path, and if I'm not back in an hour or so, he can call me, and if I don't answer, he'll know I'm in trouble.  I always walk the neighborhood solo, but if I go somewhere else, like Savannah Rapids, I take someone with me.  I also live in a neighborhood where there's always someone around.  If I fall out, someone will see me.

I told myself when I was climbing one of the hellacious hills yesterday that I will take that "mountain".  I will get myself up it, even if I slow down, but I will do it.  I won't be alone, and if I do happen to fall out, I will be ok...I can't go around scared that I will fall out, and I can't (not) exercise, or else my heart will fail anyway.  The heart has to be worked.  It has to be exercised so that it can be healthy and pump like it should.  If I continue exercising, I will not only lose the weight that I want to lose, but I will build my heart's strength back up.  I will not let that surgery, the money, the worry I put on my kids' faces, and time be all in vain.

I am not a sedentary person anyway.  I don't just sit down all the time.  I work, and at work, I do my best to work hard.  I go get carts when I have to.  I walk around that store all day long.  I don't mind doing it.  I know that the work I do is not an intense workout, but I do move...

So, basically, I told myself that I will have times where I want to quit.  I'll have times where I'll feel like I'm dying.  I will do my best to be brave and I know that there will be times when I don't want to be brave anymore.  But how can I live like that?  All I can do is try.  I have to make it work.  And that is why right now, I have a sore booty!  The hills and I have a love/hate relationship.  I love that they work my booty and legs, but I hate the climb!

EKG done...

Because of the PVCs and anxiety feelings, I called Dr. Lane's office and finally got in.
I went in for an EKG and she said that everything was fine.  So I may have been freaking out for nothing.

There's really nothing else to update about, so I'll keep this short.  Yesterday was Mother's Day, and although I had to work, it was a great day.  Any day that I get to spend with my husband and babies is a good day.  So I had a good day...I hope that all other moms had a great day too.

Misunderstood? Under-appreciated?

There's a customer that comes in my store.  I'd say he's in his 50s, at the most.  He was in a car accident last year, and got hurt pretty badly.  I'm not sure of all the details, but he walks with a cane, and has a hard time getting around now.  I help him out a lot, even if he has just a couple of bags.  If I can't, I get someone else to help.  He came up to me the other day, and asked if I felt under-appreciated since this whole heart thing happened.  He was having an off day, and felt that way.  I told him that I really haven't felt unappreciated, but I feel misunderstood at times.  I don't think that people understand what I've gone through unless they've gone through it themselves.  I know that I have to be in better shape.  I know that it'll be good for my heart.  But for the past 3 days, I just can't get it together.  I've had PVCs, my heart rate has gone up to 102, I've had anxiety (for no reason that I know of), and I'm so tired.  I work a lot, not overworked...it's only 40 hrs, just like normal jobs.  I haven't been able to make myself go workout before or after work.  I feel that my job is such a workout at times, that I can't push myself to do more.  I know that my job isn't a strenuous workout, but some days, I feel like I'm put through the ringer.  

I love David, and I know that he pushes me to be better, for different reasons.  He wants me healthy so that I can be here for our kids.  I feel that he doesn't understand how tired I am at times.  I want to be better, but some days, I feel that it's hard to do extra...

That being said, I will do better.  I'm going to do it.  Even when I feel like I can't, I'm gonna have to push myself.  I can't overdo it, but I have to try to get it together.  I'll keep y'all updated on how that goes.  I'll be calling Dr. Lane tomorrow, anyway, just to give her a heads up on what's been going on this weekend.  Maybe she'll have suggestions to help me cope with this better.

Hopefully, everyone had a good Easter.  

I have a funny feeling...

Remember when Dr. Lane said that I will have to have mitral valve repair again; we're just not sure when?  Well, I'm wondering if I'll have it sooner than we all thought.  The reason is because I've been feeling different lately.  For instance, I never get tired at work.  I mean, I get sorta tired, because I'm up early every day, but I don't get so tired that I'm ready to leave less than halfway in my shift.  Last Sunday, my schedule was 7-3.  When I'm scheduled 7-3, I usually leave around 4 or later.  But last Sun, I practically ran out the door at 3 on the dot.  I could barely walk straight, I swear.  I was counting down the hours til time to leave.  I felt irritable too.  And it actually lasted all week.  Not the irritability, but the fatigue.  Also, I've been having pains and discomforts in my chest.  I can't describe them.  Not like I'm having a heart attack or something, but it's just hard to describe.  

Ugh, I hate this feeling...I hate having no control, and I don't want to feel like a hypochondriac.  I really just want this to go away.

Ok, just wanted to get that out.  I need to go to bed now...I'll call Dr. Lane's office tomorrow and update here if needed.

Nothing much to say

But, I figured I should at least say something.  Last night, kinda late, and early this morning, I felt flutters, aka PVCs.  I think drinking 2 glasses of tea last night at dinner was the culprit.  So I pretty much laid around the house today, until I had to go get groceries.  I don't see Dr. Lane until summer, so I hope nothing else goes on.  Yesterday, I walked over 4 miles at Savannah Rapids.  Maybe I overdid it, but I don't know.  I felt the workout, but I wasn't super tired or even out of breath afterwards, so I really don't think it was because of that.  Anyway, I was proud of myself for doing it, so I'll have to lay off the caffeine to lessen the PVCs.

Until next time...

Heart Walk 2014

The heart walk will be on March 8th.  This year, I'm not forming a team.  Last year was a headache, bc people ordered shirts and never paid for them.  Still haven't paid for them.  I paid a lot out of pocket for those that didn't.  So I decided that instead of putting so much effort into tshirts, I'll just try to fund raise a little.

Also, Go Red For Women is Feb 7th, so everyone, make sure you wear your red.  Heart disease is the #1 killer in women, and we need to bring awareness to it.

Not much else to say, so I'll leave it at that.

Appt yesterday...

I was supposed to go last week to see Dr. Lane, but they called and had to reschedule me. 

Dr. Lane said that everything looks pretty good.  She went over my Echo with me.  She said that the repair looks so good, that you can't tell it's patched, unless you knew beforehand.  My mitral valve is leaking though-still or again-I'm not sure.  Dr. Lane said that it's not uncommon for that to happen, especially since mine was repaired using my own valve.  Dr. Hunter had to sew the leaflets together.  Other options would have been mechanical or bovine, neither of which seemed appealing.  Either way, we always knew that there could be possibilities of MV repair not working, or not lasting.  Mechanical valves sometimes have to be replaced, and those that have mechanical valves have to be on Coumadin or other blood thinners for life.  With bovine, I think there's always the chance of having to replace them too, bc they wear out.  

Something else Dr. Lane touched on was whether or not we were having more children.  Last time, she said that if we decided to, I should be in good shape to go through pregnancy, especially since I've done it twice before.  But...yesterday, she said it's a good idea if we don't try to have more children.  It's sad, knowing that it's so life-threatening if I want to get pregnant again.  It was extremely life-threatening when I was pregnant with Rianna and Gage, but not knowing about my heart thing, I didn't have that to worry about.  Thankfully, I have my 2 babies and we don't want any more.  

Yesterday's appointment was supposed to be my release appt.  I was supposed to be released for a year if everything went well.  Instead, I have to go back in 8 months, and after that, we will schedule another Echo.  She did say that my heart is decreasing in size (no wise cracks!), so that is good.

I think that is about everything we discussed.  I'm definitely feeling sadder than I was before my appt.  I hope I don't get into a depression.  I'm already upset over all this, not just from what I learned yesterday, but from becoming a heart patient, period.  I know my life was basically saved and extended, but I feel that I am susceptible to everything that can happen with a person's heart.  Every little thing now gets to me.  I wonder if this condition of the heart, or this disease, is going to "get me".  The feelings are so hard to turn off in my head.  David always tells me I'm ok.  I just can't convince myself that I'll be ok.  

Well, I don't think I have any more updates, or complaints, so I'll update next time I do...or the next time I need to let out my feelings.

A little more neglect...

I don't have much to post, but I needed to stop in and say "hello"…

My blood test results were fine, according to Dr. Lane's nurse.  I actually go back to see her on Nov 7th.  I had my 1 yr echo on Oct 7th.  I'm not sure of the results of that yet, bc the technician isn't allowed to tell you anything, and Dr. Lane hasn't called me.  I'm guessing 'no news is good news'; at least, that's what I'm hoping.  She was out of the office all last week, so the nurse said she hasn't reviewed the echo.  Pins and needles!!!

I'm feeling ok; still tired all the time.  I do stay on the go a lot, but in my downtime, I'm still tired.  I have my days…days where I feel awful, don't want to get out of bed, etc.  But I have a lot of good days.  Although just a few minutes ago, I had the most painful hiccups.  They hurt my chest sooooooo bad.  On the left side…I felt like someone kept punching me right there…weird…they lasted forever!

My Mawmaw (the one I used to live with, and is now in the nursing home-stupid Alzheimer's!) was in the hospital last week.  She had pneumonia.  Obviously, since I haven't had my flu shot yet, I didn't go visit her.  But I am always thinking about her.  I love that woman so much, and I miss all the old, good times we had.

Speaking of…go get your flu shots people!!!  The kids are going for theirs today at 230, and I'm going sometime this weekend.  I'm going to Walgreen's for mine, and so is David.  At Walgreen's, if you get a shot, they give a shot…to someone in an underdeveloped country.  I like it.  I like everything, even little things, that can make a big difference.

Anyway, I have to go.  As soon as I hear anything, I'll post about it.  It probably won't be until after my appointment though.


Oh, one more thing:


HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my niece HALEY!!!!  I love you!!!!!!

CMN update...

I don't have an update on my heart (which is fantastic news!), so I thought I'd do a CMN update…

We are entering the home stretch.  Our fall campaign lasts for only 2 weeks, and I'm proud to say that we surpassed our goal.  Our customers and employees who've continuously donated are super awesome!  And it's for such a good cause.  I'm actually looking into an event our company does (and I think it's year-round) to start working on.  I'll let y'all know as soon as it happens.

I hate the feeling that I'm neglecting this blog, but I really don't have any news.  Um…ok, well, I need to have my other 2 wisdom teeth taken out…so do not wanna, but they're starting to bother me.  I wish Dr. Chain Smoker would have taken them all at once.  I'm not going back to him for these, and if my insurance says I have to, they can kiss it.  I can't stand that I was inhaling his smoke breath while he was digging around in my mouth.  That was worse than the million-needle-sticks in the mouth.  Blech!

Oh, another reason I'm dreading the dentist is bc of having to take meds beforehand.  As a heart patient, it's important…and a headache…you have to plan everything.


Anyway, talk later...

CMN meeting today...

I know that has nothing to do with my heart, but I like to share what's going on...we are entering our fall campaign for the Children's Miracle Network.  It starts Sept 4th.  I get excited for CMN, it's one of the main charities I love to campaign for.  Our store was #1 in our district.  So I'm hoping we can do it again.  This time, I want to have a dress down weekend, put our umbrellas back up for the Pennies from Heaven, and see what else I can come up with.  Any suggestions??  , haha...

I will keep this blog updated on the campaign, wish us luck!

My heart is doing ok, so that's great right?!  I haven't heard back from Dr. Lane about the blood work, so I'm guessing that's a good sign.

My appt...

It went pretty well.  Dr. Lane said that my heart sounds great!  I have to go have some labs done (which I'll probably do Thurs), bc my last set of labs concluded that my thyroid levels were low.  So we will retest and see if they've come up.  If not, guess what…more medication.  It could be the cause of my fatigue.  Who knows?

I asked about whether or not I should continue with the baby aspirin, and she said it's not 100% necessary, but it won't hurt.  I asked about the vision loss thing, and she said it's not true.  So I was misinformed.  She said that it's a good idea to take them bc it will prevent blood clots.  Dr. Lane said that she and her colleagues always talk about my case bc of how rare and interesting it is.  Rare bc of my age, I suppose.  Ha-also, she asked if we are through having kids, and I said yes.  She said that she thought we were, but wanted to let me know (just in case) that if we wanted to have more, I'm very healthy and would be ok.  I would be high risk (I was with both babies anyway), but that if my heart can handle having 2 babies pre-heart surgery, then I would be ok if there was ever a next time.  I guess it's good to know, bc I am often asked if we're having any more babies.

I have to go in October to have an echo done, just for precautions.  I'll have it then bc my last one was a year ago Oct…makes sense.  After the echo, I'll see her to discuss the results, and if all goes well, I will only have to see her once a year.  YAY!

Oh, also, remember when I had the life vest on?  Of course y'all do…I complained about it often!  Anyway, the insurance company had approved it, sent me a letter stating so, and then months later, sent another letter denying the claim.  So I appealed it, esp since I had the approval letter.  They denied my appeal.  Dr. Lane's nurse printed out all of my records for the 2 weeks I was in the hospital, and during that process, they decided to pay for it.  Anyway, today, she gave me the records.  A LOT!

AND…I have copies of all my EKGs that I had from day 1 through the end of my hospital stay.  I think I may scan them and post them…just not now.  It's amazing, though…I was looking through them all, and the difference is crazy!  Seriously, it's like I was going through multiple patients' records and comparing them.  Just like when my fave nurse Ana let me listen to my heart before surgery-the differences bw my unhealthy heart and healthy heart auscultations were unreal.

My blood pressure today was 111/66.  Dr. Lane said that she is very pleased with my blood pressure; that she has been this whole time.  At least I have that on my side :)

Well, any more news and I'll update!

Right now, I'm basically doing a happy dance in my head.  It kinda looks like this:

Bing images

Yep…that's me…haha!