Friday, September 14, 2012


Yesterday evening, my heart got broken. This is not something surgery can fix. My mother-in-law, whom I've called 'mom' for 10 years, passed away. It was very sudden, very unexpected. It's left our whole family in shock. It doesn't really seem real, but unfortunately, I know it is. Although I've had distant relatives die when I was a child, it wasn't too bad for me, bc they weren't close and I didn't know them. It's not that they deserved it, it's just that I didn't have to experience it with a super close relative. My 1st grandma died when I was 17, and although it hurt, I think I handled it better than I would have at 8 or 6 yrs old. My kids are 8 and 6, and now they have to deal with this horrible heartbreak. My heart aches for them. My heart aches for David, and my heart aches for everyone else involved. I am trying to be so strong, but it is really hard. I was very close to her, she was such a good woman...everyone she met liked her. It is so hard to think about life without her. I liked her from the moment I met her, in Sept 2002. She gave us so much. For one, she always looked out for her kids and grand kids (and friends) before she gave herself one single thought. She loved animals, especially dogs, and she was very active in the different dog clubs and dog shows. She took such great care of me when I was on bed rest during my pregnancy with Rianna. She took me to every doctor appointment, then we'd go to lunch. It was our thing. If David had school work or something late, she'd come get me to spend the night with them so that I wouldn't be alone. She bought most of Rianna's baby things. And she held my hand as I gave birth to Rianna. She loved the kids. She took them to Florida, to Lake Oconee, and various other places. She basically bought them whatever they wanted. Rianna had a special bond with her, I think mostly bc of their love for reading. She and Gage had a special bond bc he's the only grandson and he's the youngest. I have friends who tell me all the time how lucky I am that I have a MIL who's as great as she is, bc most people don't like theirs. I agree with them. I am soooooooo lucky that I had her. I am just upset that I (that is, we) couldn't have her longer. She and my FIL have been married for 48 years. People who have a love that long are so lucky too. I know that in time, our wounds will heal some, but the pain will never go away. I don't know who I'm going to call when I want to talk. I used to call her when I wanted to talk about stuff, usually stuff I never talked to my friends about. She was my mom as well as David's, and I miss her so much already. This hurts worse than any kind of heart surgery. We are having her viewing at 6pm on Sat, and her funeral will be Sun at 3pm. It's not fair. We have lost an incredible lady. I love you mom, and I miss you terribly.

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