Finally!

I finally saw the cardiologist, but...not bc I wanted to. True-I've been trying to get in touch with her, but I didn't intend on having to go to her office. Yesterday morning, I was getting in the car with the kids to take them to school, and I was hooking my seatbelt, when my lifevest alarm went off. Ok, I've experienced the "gong" sound it makes when my leads may be loose and not touching my body. This was not a gong, it was a loud alarm. And it said, "patient respond", and it was on the screen. I admit, I freaked out. I was told this could happen, it's the reason I'm wearing this oh-so-fashionable device. If I am unresponsive, the vest warns people to not touch me, and then it'll shock me. If I press the buttons, it says "treatment has been delayed"...I've never had it go off. I immediately took the battery out (I know, I know, I was not supposed to do that!!!!), but like I said, I freaked out. I got out of the car so the kids wouldn't hear what I had to say when I called my friend Kat. She didn't answer! So I called my friend Codie. She didn't answer either. I called David, but he was doing car duty, so he wasn't going to answer the phone. So I called his office, told the secretary that I needed my husband, and he ran to the phone. I was crying and told him how freaked out I was and what had happened. He said he was on his way home. My friends both called back, and said they were coming over to stay with me and the kids until David got home. They kept the kids calm and let them watch tv, while I called the doctor. David got home, Codie took the kids to school, and we left. We were at the cardiologist's office for 4 1/2 hours. Basically, I was lectured on why I shouldn't have taken the battery out. And they hooked their monitors up to mine and determined that it alarmed bc it detected an arrhythmia, but it wasn't dangerous. Ok, I hate being on pins and needles, wondering if any little movement or emotion is going to trigger this alarm. HATE IT!

Anyway, I got some of my questions answered that I've had, and some, I didn't. I am waiting to hear about the appointment for the cardiac MRI, but until that is done and a decision is made on whether or not I'm getting the defibrillator implanted, I can't even go back to work. I'm thinking that I'll be getting it, but who knows? Anyway, today I didn't have school, rehab, or basically anything, so I rested. All day long...yep. I caught up on a couple of shows, I ate my lunch, I facebooked, I talked on the phone, and I laid on the couch. I think I deserved it after being scared half to death yesterday. Of course, then I picked the kids up, and when I was helping them with homework, my alarm went off again. So, to sum up my current life=I'm still busy as ever as a mom, trying to keep up with school and my house, and living on pins and needles, hoping I'm not going to fall out anytime soon. Everyone tells me not to worry and that I'm probably ok, and that I probably don't need the defibrillator, but it's really hard to listen to that when I listen to other heart patients talk about having multiple surgeries, whether they are old or young. How do they know that I'll never have a problem again? I am trying to be as optimistic as possible, but I think that as far as my own body is concerned, I have every right to be worried.

Almost 3 weeks without updating...SORRY!!!

Not too much is going on, I'm doing ok, still sore. Aggravated at my cardiologist...as much as I love her, she's starting to make me mad. The day that I saw her last (3 weeks ago today), she was supposed to call me that evening to give me the results of my echo and to answer other questions that I had. I haven't heard from her. I've called numerous times, with no call back, and my rehab nurse has called a few times, no response. I have talked to the nurse, and she has said that she will give my message to Dr. Lane, and that she would call me back...no callback. I'm tired of the runaround. I don't want find another cardiologist, but I can't be ignored. Like I told the nurse, they have to understand my point of view. I went 30 years with this issue. An issue that Dr. Lane herself told me that I was lucky to have lived this long with. I could have literally dropped dead at any moment, doing any thing, with my kids, during work, working out, etc. So yes, I'm on edge, I need assurance. I think I deserve it. I need to know what my echo said, I need to know if I'm going to have to get the defibrillator implanted, and I need to know when I can go back to work. I need to know that I'm ok, or that I will be ok. The nurse told me that the doctor hasn't even read my echo yet, so they can't even give me the ol' "no news is good news" thing. I am not trying to sound like a spoiled, everything is about me, brat. I understand that there are other patients that are more of a triage situation than I am. But this isn't about a broken toe (although those hurt like hell!), and I just need a couple minutes to answer my questions. The thing is, that phone call I was supposed to get was to let me know the results, and to set up my next appointment. So I don't even know when I'm supposed to see her again. So I've decided that tomorrow, I'm setting up an appointment. I don't care if it's a waste of $45 copay, I'm tired of being ignored. Ok-sooooo...tomorrow is my last day of rehab!!!! Yay!!!! I've been working so hard (or as hard as a heart patient is supposed to work). Today, I'm 11 weeks post-op, which is another reason I need answers. My heart brochure said that most patients return to work within 6-8 weeks. What's the holdup with me???? Btw, this past weekend, Rianna and I did the breast cancer walk. It went pretty well, and it was super fun! I think next is the Alzheimer's walk. I'll walk that in honor of my Mawmaw. Other than that, and the rehab, my friend Codie and I have been walking, so I'm working on getting my strength and stamina back. Hopefully, I lose this weight that I gained while being partially sedentary these past 11 weeks. Hopefully fast! Well, that's about it. I thought I'd have more to write about, but I guess I forgot what it was.

Little updates...

1st of all, Grandpa got to go home from the hospital. He's not 100%, but he's ok. I'm going over there next week; I don't want to bother them when they are just getting home, so I'm giving them time. Cardiac rehab is going ok. I worked harder today. I don't know what was wrong with me, but when they told me to get on the treadmill at a speed of 2.5 for 10 min, I kinda flipped out silently. I felt like I was being treated too fragile-like. The nurse came to ask me how hard I was working and I told her that I wasn't really working. She took my blood pressure and said it was the same as before I started working out. I told her it was bc I wasn't doing anything. So she let me do the incline, and it helped. Then I did my usual on the bike and rowing machine. I actually like the rowing machine. I can't stand the bike, it hurts...it's like the bikes you use in spinning classes. Oh well... Class went ok, but I was super tired by then. My class is at 1, and that is about the time I get tired, so it doesn't help at all. I'm ready for a break. Not a put-me-in-the-hospital break, but just a rest. I don't know... I need to call for my echo results tomorrow. I called them and they said they'd call back and they didn't. Hopefully, I can know something tomorrow. That's about it...I'm heading to bed...

Cardiology appt today...

I was at the doctor from 945 this morning, until 1 this afternoon. That was not the plan. The plan was to go for my 8 weeks post-op appointment, then to school. Since my last appointment with her, I was supposed to have a cardiac MRI and an echo done. I know that she ordered it last time, I saw it on my discharge instructions, but they didn't do it on their part. So she was a little perturbed at the hospital bc I was supposed to get that done before my appointment with her, so that we can discuss the results. Anyway, my pulse was 46bpm, my BP was 96/52, I think, if I remember correctly. I told her that I am always tired. She thinks part of that is my medicine. So we are cutting back again. I can't cut back on my Metoprolol bc I'm taking the lowest dose, so she cut my Amiodorone again. I was taking 2 200mg pills per day, then it was cut back to 1 pill a day, and now, I'm going to take 1/2 a pill per day. Hopefully, it helps with my fatigue. I thought I was going to get rid of this lifevest today, but she said no. She is uncomfortable with me getting rid of it until I have my cardiac MRI. She really thinks that I'm going to get that defibrillator implanted. After the appointment, she sent me for an echo. I went for it and she will call me this evening with the results. After the echo, I went for my bloodwork. See-told ya it wasn't the plan.

When I left the hospital, I called my dad to see what he was up to, and he said that he was at the hospital (a different one) bc my grandpa was in there. He was having trouble breathing. I stopped up there for a few minutes, but he was having tests done and he needed to rest anyway. I'm so worried, I hope he's going to be ok. I've never seen him sick or down before, except for a cold. So, seeing him today in the hospital, hooked up to IVs and monitors, was not so great. Also, Gage has to see a pediatric cardiologist bc we went for his checkup yesterday, and she heard 2 heart murmurs. She checked him out when I told her about my surgery. She said that it could be nothing, so we are having to wait until Oct 31st to find out if anything is wrong. All this is just so much to have to deal with. I feel like I'm on the edge, and that I'm going to fall apart. So hopefully, everything will be ok soon. Anyway, wish us luck and keep us all in your prayers.

Bad day turned good?

I was having a pretty crummy morning today, but it ended better. I just had sad feelings...it started at cardiac rehab. I was looking around although I've seen it before, and all I noticed is that I'm the youngest in there. I already knew that, but it does bring me down. I don't think that other young people should be in my shoes just so that I can relate to someone there, but I still felt sad. And actually, I don't think it was the rehab that was making me sad. I'm thinking it was just how emotional I get these days. It's hard to explain. I am super sad about how scarred up I am. I mean, I have a scar the length of my back from back surgery 12 years ago. And now, I have a zipper. I am very grateful to be here, alive, and mostly well. But as I told David, it bothers me bc it's not just me who has to see this. It's him too. He reassured me that he is not bothered by it, but I can't help the insecure feelings. I know it's silly and vain, but I guess I have some right to feel this way occasionally. This evening, we went to the Mexican restaurant and I saw a couple friends. It's always nice to see them, bc they gave me such love and support through all of this. On a good note, I have an appointment Wed with my cardiologist, Dr. Lane. She should be letting me know if I can get rid of this portable defibrillator. I hope the answer is yes!!!! So I'll update after my appointment. Until then, I'm going to bed. I get tired way and lose energy faster than I used to...